Ash Wednesday

Today is the start of Lent in the Catholic religion. In the past few days leading up to today, I had no idea what to give up or what to work on for the next 6 1/2 weeks. Lots of things going on here and I figured I would wing it. But of course, being the Catholic girl that I am it has been nagging at me. Going into Church this morning, I still had no idea. Last year, I was going to recite one decade of the Rosary each day. Last year was the first year that I failed miserably. I did pray but never found the time to pray the Rosary. I do not know what happened. But last year I had some low points during Lent because I broke what I was going to do to better myself as a person and as a Catholic.

I went to the School Mass today as the 4th grade was "in charge" of this Mass. My DD who is also in the choir and 4th grade had a speaking part of the Mass. It was a biggie. Her and another girl read during the receiving of the ashes. She did a great job both at reading and singing. Sister Margaret really does a wonderful job with the choir and the children preparing for each of their respective Masses. (DS's 8th grade Mass was the one right before Christmas break). Now here was my daughter on the very first day of Lent. DH tried getting off work for this 1 hour to see this but he had to be at work because of an emergency situation. I know he felt bad but hey, I represented my family today. To say I am proud of my DD and DS is such an understatement. I am absolutely beaming and I should be beaming every single day. Somehow DH and I are doing a wonderful job raising our children though some days I will admit that I am failing. I sat near my DS's class and when his sister stood at the podium on the altar, he was straight in his seat staring at his sister almost cheering her on. She is shy and you could see how nervous she was. She kept biting her lip and I swear she was going to be bleeding by the time I reached the altar to get my ashes. But she did great. I guess DS and myself sent her the best vibes in the world during the 10-15 minutes she was standing there reading. She was wonderful.

I got back to my pew and waited while the rest of the congregation was receiving ashes. At that moment, I still didn't know what to do about Lent. I can tell you that I felt wonderful sitting there amongst the school and the many parents that were present at this Mass.

During Communion I will still reflecting on what to do. My mom never let me "give something up" because she always felt that like New Year's resolutions, a Lenten offering will be forgotten way before Easter. She was right. I am no good at giving things up. I always had to do something to better myself or strengthen my soul and spirit. Those stayed with me way beyond Lent and to this day some of those things are part of my daily life. I like that.

After Mass was over, the principal talked and she pretty much echoed what my mother always believed and what she instilled in me. As you can see, at that point I still had nothing, nada and zip to do for Lent. I pretty much was not leaving Church til I had something. Then it hit me. I so lose my patience for the stupidist of reasons. I always say God didn't give me patience. He did, I just choose to ignore it. And lately I have been ignoring patience by not really listening to my kids, DH or friends because I am thinking of other things or there are things that have to be done. Do they really have to be done at that moment? The answer is NO. They can wait. After witnessing my beautiful children today at Mass, I realized they aren't going to be this age and this little much longer.

You know from other posts that DS is going to high school in a few short months. DD will be the big 1-0 and I will be another year older. So for this Lent, I am working on my patience. It will be a sacrifice because I have some bad habits associated with the lack of patience. I have a tendency to ignore the need for patience. This time I know it will work. I need to stop and listen to my kids, DH and friends. I need to stop what I am doing because whatever I usually do can wait til a short time later. I need to enjoy each day with those that I love the most. That all involves patience.

Wish me luck...I have no patience.
P.S. I am also not going to hit the snooze alarm either. That gives me 15 more minutes each day to gain patience. :)