Then and Now

To my little man Nick who is not so little anymore:

10 years ago: You were just about to my hip and holding my hand so tightly as we walked into the pre-k classroom. Your sister was 6 weeks old and in her infant carrier on my other arm. Your hand was so small and you were looking up at me with tears in those big, beautiful brown eyes. After my 1/2 hour that I was allowed to stay, you were crying and holding onto my leg. You wanted me to sit next to you for the next 2 hours til it was time to go home. After the teacher took your hand and lead me to the door, I stayed a few minutes longer making sure you settled in and stopped crying. On that day, you didn't see me peeking in nor did you see my tears. When I came back to pick you up, you were very excited about your first day of pre-k and told me every little detail of your day.

This morning: I tried my hardest not to cry. I told myself for days that I was not going to cry. For the past few days, I have had the biggest butterflies in my stomach. My nerves have gotten the best of me. The minute you walked down the steps in your new high school uniform, I lost it. I am sorry. Of course, you know I cried. I am still teary and you have been gone for almost 3 hours. You look so handsome and grown up. I know you hate that I made you get your haircut yesterday but I want the world to see how handsome my not-so-little man is. Nick, I still see that little boy holding my hand. Only problem is you are independent now. Your hand is bigger than mine. Heck, you are 2 1/4 inches taller than me. You don't need me as much as you did 10 years ago. You are growing up at a rapid speed. I watched as you walked to the bus stop. It took all of my self-control not to walk down to the corner. This is the very first time that I have not taken you to school. I know you saw me out front waiting til the bus came. Dad stayed in his truck just a few minutes longer to make sure all was okay. He won't admit it to me but I know he is just as nervous for you as I am. We can't wait to hear about your day today. Today is so special for all of us. It is the first day of High School.

I have no idea where the past 10 years went. I blinked and here we are. You are beautiful inside and out and I realize that Dad and I are doing a great job of raising you to be the young man that you are. You will do well the next 4 years. We will be at your side the entire time. We have been there before you and high school is the best time of your life. You picked a great high school. In the past few weeks that I have been there, I know you made the right choice. We gave you that ability. We know you listen to us even though you pretend not to.

I wish you the best of luck in this your Freshmen year. The next week or so will be difficult for you because everything is new and different. You got used to grade school but now things are different. I know you will do well. You have already proven that over and over again. I hope the next four years of school are filled with fun, laughter, friends and memories that will last a lifetime. I hope that all of your classes are challenging and interesting but rewarding in the end. You will do fine. You are smart and can do anything you set your mind to. We are very proud of you. We always have been and we always will be.

Remember to always reach for the moon. If you miss you will still be among the stars that shine so bright.