My Year in Review

Looking back on 2004, I find that my emotions, feelings, moods ran a full spectrum. I have been thinking deeply about my year and came to this conclusion. It is good I am going to get it out in my blog. It is almost theraputic to me and it will free me to enjoy and experience all that life has to offer in 2005.

First off, 2004 started with me still reeling from the death of my mom in 2003. Her illness was short but she spent the entire last 4 months of her life in 2003 in the hospital or rehab. My mom was my best friend and to this day I still feel her. I think of her everyday but now at the end of 2004 I see her less and less as she was ill and I see her healthy and my memories are the happy ones that her and I shared through all my life. I also started 2004 with my dad in Assisted Living suffering greatly from Alzheimers. I would like to feel that he remembered me at the beginning of 2004 but I think I was a memory or maybe a wish in his life. By the time my father passed away in May, which was a blessing, I knew he hadn't known me for months. He just agreed with me because something in him told him to trust me and what I would say to him. I would like to think that I provided great comfort for him in his last months here on earth. My dad was my hero and probably my greatest love. I was a typical Daddy's Little Girl. I see him now whole again with his memory and body intact and since he was a longshoreman, I don't see an angel gown on him. He is up there with my mom in his best flannel shirt and pants and slippers looking down on me and my family with great pride and love. I only hope that I can be half the mom to my kids. My parents were the greatest to me. True unconditional love. :)

Sorry about that, but I had to get it out. As I read back, I have some tears.

In February, we started looking for houses to prepare for our move. I did my best for the kids to make it an adventure in every sense. We lucked out in getting a house almost right away. It was March 18 and I can still see us sitting in our accountant's office doing our income tax when the cell rang and the realtor gave us the news that the house was ours. I moved from a twin brick home in Philadelphia to a single split level in the suburbs. I never imagined leaving Philadelphia or ever owning a single home. It may not be a mansion but it is our new house and home and I love it. I still wake up some mornings not believing that we now live where we live. We live one block in one direction from my dear father in law and we live one block in the other direction from my dear sister in law R and her family. We really did great and I am so blessed to have such wonderful in-laws. I wouldn't trade them for the world.

The time from March to June was spent packing, packing and more packing. To this day I am sick of brown cardboard boxes. There are still a bunch in the attic that I will deal with some time next year. For right now, I don't even wanna look at one.

We made settlement in June and the summer was spent unpacking, unpacking, unpacking. But with each box, this house became a home. The kids seemed to adjust well and so did we. We made new friends, new neighbors and we see so much more of my in-laws. We are a very close knit family and I love seeing how DH is so happy to be around them. Since I am an only child, my father in law has more or less tightened his grip around me. He was always a dad to me in all the years my parents were alive. Now he is moreso. Years and years ago when I first was engaged to DH, my dear sweet mother in law told me I was never a daugther in law. Always a daughter. How lucky can a gal get? My father in law feels the same. I saw it in him last night when I brought over Santa's gifts to the kids. I see it when I go over for his pacemaker check. I see it all the time. I truly am blessed.

Things were going well til September. That is when life got a little bumpy. But then again, without the bumps, it wouldn't be life, right? I had to deal with my mom's so called family. To this day, I only speak to my godfather. The others have written me off. If you read back to my late August/early September entries, you will see what happened. I am not dishing it out again. No need and it is a waste of my time. I also started the probate on my dad's estate. By the way, it is going well and hopefully everything will be wrapped up some time in 2005. The kids started school and all seemed well. But it wasn't. DS had something going on. He wouldn't talk about it and my DH and I were at a loss on what to do. His grades dropped miserably and it seemed that his teacher just wasn't getting it that he was new and needed a hand to hold for awhile. After two conferences, it seems DS is back on track as well as the teacher. His grades have improved and he seems so much more happier. It just took him time to adjust and settle in. We still have some issues but they are very minor and so fixable. DD on the other hand was a wallflower before the move. She was so terribly shy and had such trouble making friends because of her shyness. Well forget that. She is Miss Popular in her new school and she is relishing in it. LOL But DH and I are so happy for her. She is a sweet, little thing and everyone can learn so much from her. She is smart too and for that we are so proud. DS is too and we are very proud of him. He fell into a hole and has managed to climb out with minimal help from mommy and daddy. Kudos to him.

After the bumps in the fall, DH left a job he loved. Actually he was pushed out. But then he got a call from an old employer (brother in law G still works there) and they had this ideal job opening. Well DH got it. We had given up hope as he had like three interviews all in one week and then we heard nothing for two weeks, but he got it and he is so happy. We are all happy. The pay is less but the benefits are great. Also, it is great to see DH happy again. He spent most of August and September in a funk and it is great to see him thriving doing something he enjoys so much.

Now I am just trying to get through the holidays. I feel like I have changed and grown so much this year. It was the year of the good, the bad and the downright ugly but you know what, I still wouldn't change it. How else can a person grow if they don't experience life. Life isn't all roses. It does come with thorns. And, to me, it is the thorns that make us stronger. Those thorns make us what we are.

I am truly happy with my life. I am also truly blessed. I have a DH that loves me and has for 21 years (we were married 17 years this past May). I have two beautiful children that I wouldn't trade for anything in this world. I have wonderful in-laws who again I wouldn't trade. We have wonderful friends and neighbors, old and new, who we cherish. We are all basically happy. We are healthy and most of all we love each other and we are loved.

I am happy that 2004 is ending much better than 2002 and 2003. My only hope is that I have an uneventful 2005. LOL But looking ahead, I have so much to look forward to. First off, my DD is making her First Holy Communion and DS is making his Confirmation. My oldest nephew will graduate College and my other nephew/godson will turn 21. These events are all happening in that order. There will be a vacation this year for all of us and we will celebrate 1-year of living in our new home. There will be more friends to make here and online. There is lot more to look forward to too. It just hasn't been planned for yet.

If you are still here, thanks for reading. It really did make me feel better to get it all out. Now you can all sit back and relax. LOL My next biggie blog entry will be my stitching year in review (which should be short LOL) and what I want to accomplish in 2005. And I have PLANS for stitching!!!! Bwahahahahaha

Have a great day everyone!! Who knows, I may pop back here for my Stitching Year in Review. Like I said, it will be very short. I barely stitched!!! LOL